It seems like I’ve been going through cycles ever since being unleashed into the world on my own. One phase is what I like to call Super Villain Iris, where I get everything done plus some, I have fantastically profound thoughts, I’m in a good mood, and I almost maybe kind of enjoy being around people a teeny bit.
Then, there is Loaf of Bread Iris. She is the one writing this right now. Hi. It’s noon on a Tuesday, and I’m sitting on my couch with no pants on watching YouTube with a full cup of coffee next to me because I can’t even be bothered to drink it. Loaf of Bread Iris doesn’t want to do anything. She just wants to sit, and she doesn’t even really want to sit, but it’s the one thing that she hates the idea of doing the least. I hate dragging myself out of bed regardless of how late it is. When I’m finally out of bed, I just sit and sit. If I have any responsibility that day, I dread it all day, and when I get home, I feel so exhausted, all I can do is just sit and read or TV and mope.
This is a different phase from the ones I go through when my depression gets bad. I thankfully haven’t had one of those in a while. This one is just extreme laziness and apathy.
It’s really taking a lot of effort just to write this right now. I want you all to know that I’m really trying. For you. I said I’d post something once a week and this is my something in an attempt to stay true to my word. Next week, maybe Super Villain Iris will be back with something more substantial to say.
Do you ever feel like a loaf of bread? Do you feel like one now? Comment to share your apathy. Or just nod in agreement because it’s less effort.
Used Coffee Grounds 
Reblogged this on mgwebbuddy.
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I can’t write a proper reply right now, but I shall write one by the end of the day/early tomorrow (the vagaries of time zones getting in the way of things). You’ve accomplished something awesome today, so you’ve earned some respite. I want you to know that.
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Thank you, Sirius. I think you give me too much credit, but I really appreciate it.
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Weirdly enough I’ve been feeling this way all day today and recently too. It’s somewhat of a consolation I’m not the only one. If you ever find a way to snap yourself out it when you feel that way, let me know! You’re a better woman than me though, I’ve wanted to write and just didn’t! Sat being sluggish instead so you definitely accomplished something! 🙂
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Thanks Wynona! No luck finding a cure thus far, but if you figure it out, definitely let me know! I’m glad I have someone to be a loaf of bread with in the meantime =)
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Heh, a bread loaf is such an apt description, I might start using it. I’m pretty sure *everyone* feels like this sometimes. I can go for whole days without talking to another person (even online!), because I’m *that* introverted. I wish I could spend every day developing some world-changing concept like Newton or Einstein, or gallivanting around the planet a la Indiana Jones or Carmen Sandiego, but I know that’s unrealistic. Regardless of what we do, we’re still human. With everyone online these days, there’s a lot more pressure to appear constantly busy and accomplished. Everyone needs downtime, and it’s nothing to feel guilty over. Sometimes the “little” stuff – like making a blog post – is enough. Pushing yourself is vital, but so are perspective and kindness. One step at a time, right? Besides, the most dangerous super villains are the patient ones. And the most delicious loaves of bread are…sourdough. With garlic.
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Thank you so much both for making me feel better about my lack of productivity and for making me laugh. You’re right about everyone needing downtime. It seems like my downtime/complete mental and physical shutdown happens too frequently but that’s probably just because I’m trying to compare myself to what I *think* other people are like. Your comment is a nice reminder that I’m not alone. However, I must disagree. The most delicious loaves of bread are sourdough with garlic and butter. Lots of butter.
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Honey, I often have these days of what you described. But I guess everyone faces this, the one who overcomes it, is courageous. It’s funny, I thought I was the only one 😉 But it’s good sometimes, to not do anything and stare around for days. Because you’re intuition will guide you organically, naturally. It’s okay, relax, I do it too and then suddenly I’m full of fire again. No judgement, all is well 😉
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I agree completely, and I’m really happy to find out that this is a common mentality for people to go through. You’re right that we do need relaxation days occasionally, and as long as I can keep mine under control, I can’t beat myself up too much about it. Thanks for your kind words =)
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