We’re getting down to the end of the year, and things are getting pretty stressful. This time of year goes the fastest for me, and it doesn’t help that I have two weeks of classes left, then finals, and grad school applications are due, and the holidays, and I need some results for my research that isn’t going anywhere. With all of this going on, it’ll be easy to neglect things that need to be done in favor of things that can distract me from my real problems. Therefore, I’ve established a few goals that I’m going to try to achieve by the end of the year. I just wanted to do a quick post on them in the hopes that it will give me accountability so that I’ll feel more inclined to sticking to them.
1. Make progress with my research project. I only recently started it, but so far it has been going nowhere, and I wasn’t able to get any results. My professor has been busy with his own things, and so he hasn’t had time to really take a look at what I’m doing, so I’m pretty much on my own with this. I’m going to have to take initiative and figure things out on my own if I expect to get anywhere by the end of the semester. While I don’t absolutely have to have it figured out by then, I want to at least have optimized a method and perfected the preliminary stages so that next semester I can get to work on the actual analysis. I want to finish this project before I graduate in May.
2. Finish my grad school applications. The deadlines are fast approaching, with the first one being December 15th and the last one being sometime at the end of January. I’ve been putting them off all semester, mostly because I’m afraid of not getting in anywhere, but I definitely won’t get in anywhere if I don’t apply.
3. Get help for my depression. This has been going on for too long, and it’s starting to affect my life in a way that could compromise my future. I feel that I’m not performing as well as I could academically because of it, and it’s coming in the way of relationships that are important to me. Most importantly of all, I want to enjoy life. I don’t want to hate it and constantly be trying to avoid it. There is a free counseling and mental health service at my school. As soon as I get back to school, I’m going to call it and figure out what my options are. This is a really, really, really scary thing for me, and I’m terrified to do it, but it will be worth it if it gives me a better quality of life. Any support you can give me for this I would appreciate immensely.
I plan to work as hard as I can to get these three things done. They are the most important things to me right now, and I’ve been dragging my feet with each of them because of some irrational fear associated with them that procrastinating only exacerbates. I know that if I can at least make progress with these, I’ll be able to relax over the holidays and not feel so anxious and terrified about the future. It’ll be hard, but it’ll be worth it in the end.